Moving forwards while looking back


It’s been a challenging year and it’s only April. No, maybe roller coaster year is more like it. I’ve had surgery to remove an ovarian cyst, containing within it a tumour, I’ve had a happy (but challenging) relationship fall apart around me, hoped for high school places not happen and my mental safe haven cease to be.

While housebound post op I spent a lot of time on social media, probably too much. I lived my life vicariously as I slipped into a hormone induced depression. But I chanced on a post about a book by Davina McCall. Let me start by saying I’d never read a self help book before in my life. I just wasn’t one of those kind of people. But in need of some kind of direction I took a leap and ordered the book off amazon.

Davina has always been present in my life, there in the background. When I lived in Germany, she was the VJ on MTV when I got back to my flat after work. When I moved back to London and got my own house, my friends and I would watch Street Mate when we got in after clubbing. I saw her heavily pregnant on Big Brother, just like everyone else. She’s just been there in the general hubbub of life, being bubbly and silly and fun.

“Lessons I’ve Learned” did it change my life? kind of, It has started me on a path, on a quest. My quest is to be happier, braver and more thankful. I’ve had a lot of luck in my life and also a lot of sadness. So my quest is to embrace the good, not fear the change and move on from the sadness.

I’m not here to review her book. I’m just highlighting it was the first stepping stone, a gateway book to me changing my life. From here I’ve moved on to “The Happiness Project” and “How To Be Brilliant”. Both these books are inspiring and thought provoking. The first challenge in how to be brilliant is to talk to 5 complete strangers in the next 24 hours. It was much to my delight to realise that I already do this… Yay extra points to me!

It made me think of something my old tae kwon do instructor, Joe used to say to me. “Ashwood, you’re not as shit as you think you are” Hhhmmmmm words to live life by!


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